First branch of Bush Presidential Library and Comfort Station System opens

Even while he is still in office, President George W. Bush has already begun to attend to the matter of his legacy. And, as with so many aspects of his presidency, such as interpreting the Constitution or engaging in foreign diplomacy, this president wants to be forever known for his "innovative approach." This past weekend saw the opening of the first "branch office" of The George W. Bush Presidential Library and Comfort Station System here just north of Lubbock, Texas.

"I read over twenty-five books last year. I'm all for books and learnin' just like the next guy," explained Bush in a teleconference press appearance broadcast from Washington, D.C. on Friday. "But you know there's a place for readin' and there's a time —usually after the breakfast coffee kicks in!"

Bush said that he fealt a centralized facility where there might be "a whole slew of books and stuff" would not give the right idea of his presidency. "I want future scholars to understand that we were an administration on the go —you know?—we were doers!"

"On the go!—heh, I just got that!," said Bush and he started to do that thing where he grins sheepishly, squints and bobs his shoulders up and down.

The Bush Presidential Library and Comfort Station System will actually be comprised of eighteen separate facilities to be sited along Routes 27, 87 and 287 in Northern Texas, each of these will house some small sampling of personal papers, briefing documents and notes for the president's most significant public speeches. Also on display will be various posters, multi-colored diagrams and the actual "interactive media" often used to explain difficult concepts at the president's briefing sessions. Each such "branch library" will also contain restroom facilities for both sexes with changing tables, hot and cold running water and vending machines for convenience items, soft drinks and candies.

Curator (and custodian) Billy Joe Stanton says that the different stops along this particularly desolate stretch of Northern Texas highway will be situated "just far enough apart as you'll be happier than a pig in slop when you get to the next one!"

In recent years the siting, design and institutional focus of presidential libraries has become an integral part to the process of defining a president's stay in office in historical and cultural terms. The John F. Kennedy Presidential Library occupies a dramatic site at the water's edge in South Boston, Massachusetts and, in addition to its museum and facilities for scholarly research, hosts the annual 'Profiles in Courage Awards'. The Reagan Library in Simi Valley, California was recently the venue for the Republican presidential candidates debate. Siting of the Clinton Library has been beset by regulatory delays, as "due to mature content" the building cannot be sited within 400 feet of a school or place of residence, according to Hope, Arkansas zoning regulations.

President Bush was not able to attend the grand opening of the first branch in his library system this past weekend, as he was unable to reschedule his already planned trip to "his favorite country —Africa!"

The opening ceremony ended up being rather subdued, all in all. Curator Stanton thought his wife was going to call the paper and place an ad "and she thought I was gonna."