RNC: With Gulf storm past, party faithful are now free to put on their "Republican hats" once again!!

During the opening night of The Republican National Convention, First Lady Laura Bush and First Lady hopeful Cindy McCain both joined in asking G.O.P. members to "take off their Republican hats and put on American hats." This in the the face of the impending arrival of another dangerous storm in the Gulf Coast region. While this call for a sense of common national purpose beyond the the divisiveness of partisan politics appealed to some, there were some of the party faithful who were quite perturbed about parting with their favorite headgear.

Today, much to their relief, party spokespersons have announced that the storm has passed and without the major devastation some had feared. "You are all free to replace your Republican hats!" announced RNC Chairman Robert M. "Mike" Duncan and RNC Co-Chairman/Committee on Arrangements Chairman Jo Ann Davidson. "We both know it can feel awfully naked without a good Republican hat on. Now that the crisis has passed, there's really no need to do without."

Marvin Keppelscheister, ranking member of the Wyoming delegation (shown above) was sure pleased to put his hat back on. He was proud to point out that his latest Republican hat, replacing the cowboy hat he'd worn for the past few years, was not only comfortable to wear and striking to behold, but also functional. "Let me put it this way, son. When you wear a hat like this people know to get out of your way."

The Wyoming Republican says that he was at first reluctant to put aside his old ten-gallon Stetson, which he had worn to the last dozen or so conventions, but he said he realized that his new hat is a more fitting emblem of the "warrior theme" of this year's Republican ticket. "It's about change," he said, with a broad wink. "That's the point —get it?"

Mr. Keppelscheister said he has managed to traverse the crowded convention hall floor with surprising ease; and that he was especially pleased to note that "there was none of that funny business between the stalls" in the men's lavatory. "Least not while I'm in there!"

Keppelscheister, a party stalwart and proud 37-term incumbent library trustee from Reeves Corner, Wyoming, has been the subject of some speculation about the cabinet makeup of a potential McCain/Palin administration, with Secretary of Defense or Attorney General positions suggested. "What could it hurt?," shrugged one member of McCain's leadership screening team, who —like all the other members of that team—prefers to remain nameless.