Republicans Split Along Gender Lines As Constitutional Amendments Debate Widens

Republican party strategists have begun to voice concern at the prospect of a deep rift developing within the party along gender lines with the appearance of a feature article in this month's edition of a popular (excuse the term) Conservative journal. Writing for 'Manifest Destiny Monthly,' columnist Preston Farpington, III (pictured above with his wife, who he insists upon calling 'Lady Farpington') pays due respect to the recent rise of female Conservatives within the Republican party's political ranks, but he sees that rise as being somewhat at odds with the party's core values.

Frapington writes:

"Palin and her 'Mama Grizzlies Movement' and figures like Michelle Bachman and Sharon Angle might give voice to valid critique of the Left Extreme, but we most remind ourselves of the larger issues that have come into focus lately with long overdue examination of The Constitution and its rather libertine excesses, especially where it comes to citizenship and populist polling privileges."

Farpington goes on to argue that recent calls to repeal the 14th Amendment, "with its profligate grantings of birthright citizenship" have to be understood as merely the opening moves in a broader effort toward comprehensive reform. "The Tea Party Movement has harkened us all back to our great nation's founding in 18th century thought and truly Republican principles. We can't stop at a few rallies and worthy distress over taxation," he writes. "We must return to the Revolution and undo the accrued dire devolutions of our noble Republic."

Farpington concludes that "the Revolution will have been restored" once, not only the 14th amendment has been repealed, "but the whole host of dastardly amendations that have brought about indiscriminate suffrage —once proper authority in governance is restored to the male land owning Christian gentry."

A number of prominent Republicans have gone on record to distance themselves from Farpington's opinions and qualify his piece as "strictly an exercise in abstract and theoretical logic and theory" and not an actual rendering of the GOP policy agenda. To this writer it appears Farpinton's openly stated opinions may just make for some interesting tension within the rank and file of The Republican Party and its most important thinkers.

When asked by Faux Journalism to comment on her husband's article, 'Lady Farpington' opined merely that "the man is an ass."

Rumor has it that she's actually the one with the money.